Patti Stanger, Author at Millionaire's Club by Patti Stanger

3 Things you’re doing that scare off millionaire men

Posted by | Millionaire Dating | One Comment

Millionaire men are their own species that’s a subset of normal men. When it comes to finding a woman to date, they look for most of the same criteria normal men do and then some. Bottom line is if you’re not putting in the effort the attract a normal dude, you’re never going to hook a millionaire man. But, even if you’re pulling out all the stops to attract a normal guy, you still could be falling way short on reeling in a millionaire man. In fact, you could be scaring them off. Here are three things that could be the problem.

Schlubbing it up

Millionaires are used to the best of the best. Women are no exception. Think about it. The women they see on a regular basis are either successful millionaires who have all the money in the world to look amazing, heiresses who have nothing else to do aside from coif themselves or the women who work at and frequent the fine restaurants, elite clubs and exclusive resorts they frequent. They’re not seeing frazzled moms in grocery stores or post-work out yogis running errands without makeup. They’re used to women looking their best. Men are visual creatures, so your appearance matters a lot. If you’re running around in a messy ponytail or showing up to first dates in ripped jeans, you’re scaring millionaires away. They’re programmed not to register schlubiness as sexy. So, dress up for dates with millionaires, even beyond a first date, and never schlub it up when you think your path might cross a millionaire’s.

Not keeping current

It’s hard to stereotype all millionaire men because I’ve worked with such a broad range of them. I will say that the one thing they all seem to have in common is that they are up to date on current events. Many of them read two newspapers before leaving their house in the morning. Those type of millionaires are looking for women who can keep up with them. If you’re not keeping up with current events, you’re not going to be able to. No matter how smart you actually are, no one looks intelligent when they’re clueless about the world around them. If you don’t want to scare a millionaire off, dive into the daily news and get yourself informed.

Going out in groups

Like I said, millionaire men are men. And men hate approaching a woman when she’s out in a big group of women. Millionaire men hate it even more. These guys are super busy and don’t have time to push through a firewall of friends to say hello to the one girl who caught their eye. I’m not saying they don’t want to work for a woman’s affection in general. But, they definitely don’t want to work for it before they even meet the woman. These guys are generally smart investors and dealing with a gaggle of friends for an introduction to one woman they don’t even know if they have chemistry with is not a smart investment of their time. If you want to meet a millionaire, stop going out in groups and start going out solo.

Single gals, I hope that helps you figure out why you’re not meeting any millionaire men. They’re out there and they’re dying to meet a quality girl like you. Just don’t scare them off!

3 Surprisingly hard things about dating a millionaire

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I made my name setting up wonderful women with very wealthy men and have since expanded to include female millionaires and gay and queer clients. It’s a fantastically rewarding job and I love it. Even though the relationships I set up seem like fairytales come true, the truth is that my clients have relationship struggles just as much as any couple. And I find that I hear a lot of repeated issues from the clients whom I set up with my millionaire clients. There are some really common, but really surprising, hard things about dating a millionaire. Here they are.

Being lonely

Millionaires become millionaires by working really hard. And then, on top of the work obligations, there are a lot of social obligations in elite circles. Millionaires travel often, too. A lot of my clients who get serious with millionaires complain about being lonely. This is true even when they know their millionaire partner loves and values them a lot. It’s still lonely when you’re not able to spend a lot of time with your boo. There are no two ways around that. Of course, I offer solutions and ways to reframe the situation, but you can’t deny that loneliness comes with the millionaire relationship territory.

Getting intimidated

Going on a date with a millionaire is intimidating for all of the reasons you get intimidated by a normal date. After all, they’re just normal people with abnormally large bank accounts! But, entering into their world can be more intimidating than other worlds. Millionaires spend their time doing elite things with elite people. And by definition, elite people, places and things aren’t warm and cozy to outsiders. It’s easy to get intimidated by people who are very well educated or experts in fields you know nothing about. And being uncomfortable and on edge makes it difficult to foster a relationship. I always tell my clients to talk to their partners about this and ask for help when they need it. The right partner will support you through things that make you uncomfortable, millionaire or not.

The judgment

When you date a millionaire and you’re not one, you get judged. A lot. People will talk behind your back and probably even to your face. They’ll question your motives for dating a wealthy person and won’t be polite about it. It’s going to happen, no question. What isn’t guaranteed is you two surviving this judgment storm. So, it’s up to you guys to figure out if this kind of stuff is going to make you or break you. Talk about your feelings and how to handle this kind of gossip and rudeness. Can you two help each other through this? If so, I’d bet a million dollars that you two will make it long term!

Hope this helps those of you in relationships with millionaires know you’re not alone and those considering dating a millionaire some idea of what you’ll experience. From all my time in the relationship business, I can tell you that there are ways around all couple issues as long as you two are both in it!

3 Surprisingly romantic places to go with your millionaire

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Millionaires get into ruts just like the rest of us. Sometimes they need something a little unexpected. And a weekend trip to somewhere new can totally provide that inspiration and fun to pump some excitement back into your relationship. The only problem is that with many millionaires, it’s tough to find a spot they haven’t already explored. All the normal spots probably have a “been there, done that” feel to them. So, here are some unexpected ideas to suggest to your millionaire for your next weekend getaway.

Joshua Tree

If you and your boo have not been to Joshua Tree, this is going to be such a treat. Joshua Tree is weird in the best way. It’s gorgeous and there’s really wonderful hiking for all fitness levels. Plus, the food in the area is actually spectacular. There’s great music and lots of quirky shopping to take advantage of. And the places to stay are really memorable. Nothing is all out luxury, but there is so much charm that you won’t mind not having a 24-hour-a-day butler or a red carpet welcome every time you enter your hotel. The place is something special and spending a weekend there would recharge anyone’s batteries.

Your hometown

I know this sounds strange in a list of romantic destinations, but it actually is really special to see where someone’s from. You could take your boo to all of the spots that were important to you growing up and share intimate parts of your history. It would bring you two closer together and take your relationship to a whole other level. Go on a double date with your parents, joyride past your high school, drink forties on the roof of your car and listen to the music you grew up on. It will not just be romantic, it’ll be adorable and thoughtful.


Your millionaire has probably spent a lot of time in New York City. It’s where a ton of business and social obligations are when you’re a millionaire. But, I bet they’ve spent most of their time in Manhattan. Brooklyn is another borough of New York City and it’s fantastic. There are five star hotels there, great eating and fantastic off-Broadway shows. Or, maybe more like off-off-Broadway shows. But still fantastic! Take your boo to Brooklyn and spent the entire weekend exploring the museums, neighborhoods, coffee shops and waterfront. It’s so romantic and cute there. And the best part is that it’s not that touristy yet. You could live like a real Brooklyn local!

Hope this helps you cook up some ideas for a non-traditional trip to take with your millionaire. Think outside the box a bit when it comes to romantic trips and I bet you’ll be really delighted with what you find!

What to get a millionaire man for Valentine’s Day

Posted by | Luxury Gifts | One Comment

Valentine’s Day gifts are tough to buy in general because they need to represent so much…or so little, depending on where you are in a relationship. And then, buying gifts for men is tough in general. If you’re going with traditional “manly” stuff, men just don’t have a lot of fun options. Layer on top of buying a gift for a millionaire man, who can and probably does, buy himself anything he wants, and you’ve got a seriously difficult gift to buy. A Valentine’s Day gift for a millionaire man might just be the hardest gift to find ever. Well, I’m here to help you with a few options.

Recreate a shared memory

This is a sweet and sappy idea, which is my favorite type of gift. Recreate a special memory you guys have together. What’s great about this option is that you can do this in a really budget friendly way, if you need to. You could take him to dinner at a place that is meaningful to your relationship. Or, you could Google up some recipes from that place and cook them yourself at home. Same thing with a weekend trip—actually take him to a place you both love or decorate your living room to look like your favorite hotel and make an appetizer from the cuisine of the best country you two have visited together. This one really isn’t about the money you spend. It’s a gift of thoughtfulness. So cheesy and so something I’d love to get or give!

Get nasty

It’s Valentine’s Day, which is a super romantic and super sexy holiday. Reflect that in your gift! You could create a really sexy night for the two of you with a long, scented bath, some lingerie you know he’d like, new satin sheets… and a lot of time between them! You might want to get yourselves a hotel room to change up the scenery. Or you could live out a fantasy you know he has. A romantic, sexy night makes for a great gift. After all, it’s not something he can get himself!

Something you want

So, what do you get for the guy who has everything? Something you want! Get him a cologne you find irresistible. Or maybe you think he’d look great in purple but he doesn’t own any. Get him a violet shirt! Want him to have a more stylish haircut? Go ahead and schedule him an appointment at a trendy salon! This is your chance to make those little tweaks you’ve always wanted to make. And, you’ll get to make them without coming across as a nag. In fact, you’ll seem generous. Win, win!

Happy gift hunting, my loves. Hope your millionaire man likes whatever you wind up getting him!

5 holiday gifts to put on your list if you’re dating a millionaire… and have been very good this year!

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Hear that? That ringing sound? It’s not jingle bells! It’s cash registers binging with sales because holiday shopping time is upon us! Can you believe it? This year has been one of the fastest of my life and I’m shocked that it’s time to start making our lists and checking them twice for holiday shopping. The best way to make sure you get what you really want this year is to actually tell your loved ones. That may take some of the surprise out of Christmas morning, but it guarantees that your friends and family are spending their hard earned money on things you’ll truly enjoy. And I think that outweighs the surprise factor in terms of importance. Plus, there are always surprises from Santa! So, if you’re having some problems thinking of what to request, here are some things to ask for if you happen to dating a millionaire this holiday season. And for those poor souls who aren’t dating a millionaire, you could still ask for these gifts if you have a large enough posse of people willing to chip in. Maybe everyone in your family will throw in a few bucks to leave one of these under your tree this year!

Cashmere coat

You all know that I’m a California girl at this point. I’ve been here too long to be anything else. But, I do spend a lot of time on the East Coast and when I’m there in the colder months, there’s nothing I love more than a luxurious winter coat made of cashmere. If you don’t have one of these, it’s the perfect thing to put on your wishlist from your millionaire. Any time you’re chilly, you’ll be able to slip your super soft and stylish coat on and feel like you’re getting a hug from your boo.

Michelin meal

I love an experience gift that can be shared and I’m a total foodie, so this would definitely be something I’d put on my list. There’s nothing quite like eating at a Michelin starred restaurant. So, if you and your millionaire boo are into good eats, you should definitely request a holiday meal at one of the Michelin starred places close to you…or, if you’ve been very, very good this year, you could ask for a weekend trip planned around the meal. You’ll get to dress up, celebrate the season and truly enjoy your boo’s company. It’ll be an evening to remember for both you.


I’m a big believer in spending on staple pieces and getting your wear out of them. And sunglasses are something you can get a lifetime of use out of. So, I think they’re the perfect spendy staple to have in your wardrobe. Get a classic design and you’ll wear them for years to come. Your boo will love seeing the holiday gift they got you on a regular basis, too.

Boozey lesson

Like I said, an experience gift is a primo present in my book and I’m loving this trend of artisanal alcohol that’s been growing in recent years. Ask your man or woman for a date night at a nice distillery or vineyard where you learn more about your favorite boozey beverage… and get a lot of tastes! It’ll be a fun date and help you enjoy the drinks you love even more.

Make your dreams come true

What’s your dream? It doesn’t have to be reasonable at all. Maybe you want to be on Saturday Night Live or fly an airplane. Why not ask your love to make your dreams come true in a small way by asking for a class in your dream field. If it’s being on SNL, you could ask for an improv class. Or a flying lesson if it’s to be a pilot. If your dream is to heal the world, you could even take a semester course in non-profit management. I love the idea of leaning on your partner to help you take the first step toward achieving a huge dream. It’ll put a little extra pressure on you to stick with pursuing your goals and bring you closer together with your boo since they’re so involved in it.

Hope that helps all you nice people out there. If you’ve been naughty, well, there’s a lot you can do with coal! They make great paperweights, for example.

5 cute gifts to get your millionaire if you’re on a budget

Posted by | Luxury Gifts | 3 Comments

I’m well aware that this is a very champagne problem to have, but when you’re dating a millionaire and you’re not one yourself, holiday gifts can be a tricky thing. What do you get the guy or gal who can and does buy everything they could possibly want? The pressure is especially on when they’re generous gifters themselves. You want them to feel as special as they make you feel, but you can’t exactly cover a weekend jaunt to the Maldives or a Michelin starred meal. Fear not, my little millionaire lovers. I have some wonderful gift ideas for you to gift this holiday season that will make your boo feel the love without breaking the bank or your credit card limit. Read More

4th of July sundresses to buy your luxury lady

Posted by | Fashion | 2 Comments

Attention millionaire men! Every holiday is an opportunity to wow your lady with a generous gift. 4th of July is no exception. Sure, it’s a holiday to celebrate our nation’s independence, but why not use it to celebrate your relationship, too? If you’re celebrating with a gift, then think about a dress. A new dress is the perfect present, especially if you’re taking her somewhere to show it off. So, I pulled some fantastic summery dresses for you to consider for your lady. There should be something in here for every style. And if I missed your lady’s look, let me know in the comments. I’d love to get back to fake online shopping. Good for you guys and good for my bank account. It’s a win win!

MILLY Breton Striped Shirt Dress, $385

If your lady is a bit preppy, you have to get her this dress. It’s going to be her summer uniform. I’m not preppy at all and I’d wear this all the time! I love the way the differing stripe patterns work with each other to keep this simple cut super interesting. Plus, something about this reminds me of an outfit Julia Roberts would have worn in Pretty Woman if it were available then. Anyone else see that?

Alice + Olivia Lindsey Pouf Embroidered Sheath Dress, $698

No one on the planet does summer fun like Alice and Olivia and this dress proves it. It’s not what you would expect for a summer dress, as embroidery can feel very heavy and wintery. But, they pulled it off. This dress is plush without being heavy at all. Perfect for a casual BBQ, if she dresses it down with sandals, but easily wearable for something nicer. And, I don’t mean to put the pressure on you, but this is a perfect meet the parents ensemble. If you haven’t arranged for that yet, maybe now’s the time to do it!

Apiece Apart Appolonia Cold-Shoulder Sun Dress, $450.00

If your lady is very into fashion, she won’t give you the cold shoulder if you give her this cold shoulder dress! (I know! That was terrible. But, I couldn’t help myself!) Yellow is en vogue this season and this blousy dress is on point for a fashion risk taker. It screams summer fun! And with this bold color and cut choice, your lady is sure to stand out from the crowd at whatever Fourth of July fete you attend.

Halston Heritage Slit-Sleeve Pleated Dress, $395

Here’s another bright, fashion-forward selection. What I love about this one is how versatile it is. It’s perfect for summer, with its bright color and breezy cut, but it will also transition well into fall. The orange is rich enough to feel like an autumnal pallet and the sleeves make it good for changing temperatures. No matter when she wears it, your lady will feel amazing is the bright, attention grabbing number!

Maje Pandora Striped Jumpsuit, $510

This isn’t a sundress, but it’s such a sophisticated take on patriotic fashion that I had to include it. Plus, not every lady is a sundress lady. I love a jumpsuit because there’s literally nothing easier to wear. And this pattern is almost red, white and blue striped, but not quite. It makes it the perfect thing to wear to a Fourth of July event without looking like a second grade teacher on spirit day.

Tory Burch Walden Asymmetric Color Block Dress, $395

Another fantastic option for someone who wants to dress to theme for Independence Day, but doesn’t want to look like a rocket pop. The deep V neckline of this dress makes it super flattering for a lady who’s got it going on in the chest region. And the stripes will elongate her body, which any woman would be into. Plus, the rayon fabric of this dress is giving, which makes sizing less exacting. And that’s a plus when you’re giving clothing as a gift!

Fuzzi Cutout-Neck Long Coverup Dress, $375.00

Tight white dresses are must haves for formal summer occasions. If you’re taking your lady to an upscale event, this is the dress she should be wearing. It’s sexy to the max without showing off much skin. Plus, the way the neck is cut out gives it a bit of a rocker vibe. I love being able to look elegant and edgy at the same time!

Happy Fourth of July and happy gifting! Hope you’re having a great summer!

When to bring your new millionaire man to events

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The expression goes “April showers bring May flowers,” but as someone who lives in California and has flowers all year long and rarely has rain, that expression doesn’t quite ring true to me. What April is sure to bring, in my opinion, is lots of events. April is the start of wedding season, baby shower season, graduation season and family reunion season. Plus, it’s the lead in to Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. If you’re in a new relationship, the pressure is about to crank up in a major way. And when that new relationship is with a millionaire man, the pressure is even higher. Millionaires typically have very busy schedules and specific tastes, so it can be daunting to know when to bring your new beau to big events in your life. Here are some questions to ask yourself to help you decide when’s right for you.

Are you monogamous?

Monogamy is a big deal to me. Call me old fashioned! Monogamy is a big commitment and shows a certain level of respect and investment in your relationship. If you two are monogamous, then it’s definitely worth considering bringing your millionaire to events. If you’re not, then it’s a no go in my book. And I’m not asking if you’re sleeping with or dating people other than your millionaire. I’m asking if you two have had a talk and decided as a couple to be monogamous. Assuming he isn’t dating other people isn’t enough here.

Has he taken you to events?

Wealthy, successful men have a ton of events. Their company has events, the charities they donate to have events, the boards they sit on have events and their families have events. If your man hasn’t invited you to his events, it’s not because he hasn’t had any events. It’s because he doesn’t think your relationship is at the point where you can go public quite yet. So, this is a sign you shouldn’t invite him to yours. It could also be a sign to sit down and talk about your goals for this relationship. Make sure you’re on the same page and both guiding this relationship in the same direction.

Is this serious?

Relating to the above, ask yourself is this relationship is serious? Could you truly see a future with this fellow? Peel away the glamour of the money and dig deep to feel the emotions you have when you’re together. Do you want to feel those forever? Or at least for a good chunk of time? Don’t bother to bring anyone to a special event who seems like a “fun for now” guy, even if he is a millionaire. Your “fun forever” person could be at this event and bringing an “eh” date could prevent you from meeting him. So, only bring a man you feel very serious about.

Would he make the event better?

Some people are true value adds and some people just aren’t. Is the millionaire you’re with someone who makes things more fun or less stressful for you? If so, that’s a point in the “bring him” column. But, if he’d just be there to stand next to you in pictures or maybe even make the event more high stress for you, that’s a sign not to bring him. And, honestly, a sign to not even date him any more. You’re too awesome to be with someone like that, lady! Go find a guy who’s a value add and not just monetarily!

Happy event season, everyone! Let me know if you’re bringing your new boo with you to your events and how they go! Would love to get the scoop.

Attract Millionaire

What to wear to attract a millionaire man

Posted by | Fashion | 9 Comments

I’ve written a ton about where to go to meet a guy, but meeting a man involves more than just being near him. You need to get his attention, too. And then, of course, it’s up to you and your charming personality to reel him in. But, between simply being in the right place and getting him to fall in love, there’s that initial attention grab. And a lot of that boils down to what you’re wearing. You need to put on specific things to get that specific kind of attention from a millionaire man. And here’s what those things are to attract millionaire men.

Red – Attract Millionaire

Red is a power color. There are no two ways about that. When you see someone in red, you get an aura of confidence and fearlessness. And that’s what a millionaire man, who’s confident and fearless himself, wants in a woman. Plus, it’s bright and eye catching. It’s universally flattering. And it’s really sexy. I dare you to put on a red dress and not feel amazing and invigorated. No one wakes up on the wrong side of the bed and thinks, “I’m going to put on my hottest red dress.” Red dresses are reserved for good moods and good days. So, red is an indication of feeling yourself. And that’s a good vibe to put out there.

Tight dress – Attract Millionaire

Fashionistas, you’re not going to like this. I know that trends change and lots of different silhouettes are popular with designers depending on the season. But, men don’t care about the trends. No man is going to be impressed by your haute couture culottes. And that $2,000 shift dress with no waist? A man couldn’t care less about the precision of the stitching or innovation of the pattern. A man wants to see your curves and the way to do that is a tight dress. I’m a big fan of bandage dresses. They suck you in and make your body look as tantalizing as possible. Zip one of those on and you’ll be getting the right kind of attention from the right kind of guy.

Show off an asset – Attract Millionaire

What do you love most about your body? Put it on display! Wear a short dress if you love your legs. (I’m personally majorly into that!) Go for a deep neckline if you’re into your cleavage. Show off that tummy if you’re proud of all the ab work you do to get a stomach like that. But, pick one. Showing off too much at once isn’t classy. Even if you feel confident about the look, it’s putting out energy that isn’t compelling to wealthy men. Millionaire men are looking for someone they can take to fundraisers and corporate functions and be proud to show off. A woman who’s wearing a bikini top and booty shorts doesn’t quite fit that ideal. Keep it classy and leave everything aside from one sexy asset to the imagination.

Heels – Attract Millionaire

I know heels aren’t comfortable and probably not great for your feet. I actually heard someone say that footwear is going to be the final frontier of feminism. Once women can wear comfortable shoes, we’ll truly be equal. And in some ways, I agree with that. But, for where we are now, heels are a must for when you head out hoping to pick up a great guy. They make you stand up straight and make everyone’s legs look 100 times sexier.

So, there you go! Slip on a tight red dress that shows off the part of your body you’re most confident about and a hot pair of heels and you’ll be millionaire man catnip!