What I say to people who think money doesn't matter

Posted by | April 12, 2016 | Millionaire Dating | 7 Comments

I’m the Millionaire Matchmaker and my business started matching wealthy men with women who were interested in marrying them. Now, it’s expanded to include wealthy women looking for love, too. And I know that doesn’t rub everyone the right way because people are pretty loud about it. I hear things like, “It’s gross to be so focused on money,” “money doesn’t matter,” and “someone’s finances shouldn’t make them more or less attractive.” I hear it from TV producers, family members, potential clients and even randos when I’m out for brunch. Here’s what I say when I get these kind of comments.

Happiness is easier

Having money has a lot of benefits. Of course, there are problems that come with wealth, too. And money can’t buy happiness, that’s for certain. But, also certainly, money can make happiness easier to find. You can focus on things that make you happy a lot more if your attention isn’t divided by financial stress. Finances are a huge reason couples break up and not having to fight about money or worry about bills makes it a lot easier to feel comfortable in your life. Money isn’t the direct means to happiness, but being broke sure does make it harder to get on the right path.

Ambition and smarts

Financial success if often tied to ambition and smarts. And, of course you want to partner with someone who’s ambitious and smart. Money can be an indicator of that. Are there very wealthy people who have oodles of money for no discernable reason? Yeah, of course there are. But, I don’t really focus on that type of person in my matchmaking. And are there people out there with all of the ambition and intelligence you can fit into a human body who haven’t struck it rich? Yep. Those folks exist, too. I’m not saying money is the clear and only infallible indicator of drive and intelligence. But, it can be correlated to those things. So, looking for it isn’t a bad thing.

You’re right

When people tell me that money doesn’t matter when it comes to love, I’ll often tell them that they’re right. They’re right for themselves. But, clearly their opinion isn’t right for me and for the very happy clients I cater to. We don’t judge the criteria you use for finding your boo. Why are you spending so much time judging ours? Let us be us and be happy being you. Write your love story the way you want to and let us write ours.

The bottom line is that you shouldn’t feel ashamed if money is important to you in your search for your boo. And if it’s not, then you shouldn’t shame people who think the other way. Can we all agree on that?


  • Kathleen says:

    Great article! I’m from Belgium and I got to see a few seasons of the Millionaire Matchmaker on our commercial TV station.
    I just love it and I wish I could participate and find someone who’s a passionate entrepreneur, making tons of money and since I speak & write 4 languages, I can easily travel with him and support him. Patrick Bet-David posted a video a few days ago about what you need to know and understand if you want to date a Millionaire Entrepreneur and I have many of the understandings. I think Money Matters because it buys you freedom to make the moments you share as a couple truly amazing. By the way I worked as a live-in secretary for Pamela Bellwood (Dynasty) in Los Angeles for 6 months after I graduated and I simply loved the lifestyle of the rich and I really really loved the people and the weather!

  • Khristina says:

    Well written! I agree that money isn’t the clear indicator of intelligence and drive. Sometimes we choose a passionate career such as teaching, working for homeland security and serving our country in the military, (they don’t pay well but the rewards are worth it). Many people, including myself were raised by parents who claimed money didn’t matter. That saying was engraved into our minds. When I finally began working at the age of fifteen I learned that money does matter and that has held true during my marriage,(going on twenty years ?). If finances aren’t in order than a marriage will experience difficulty that could ultimately end in divorce. I feel that the people who have an issue with money and what you’re doing need to reevaluate their priorities and simply keep their comments to themselves. I appreciate that you help people find love and happiness, (the world could use more people like you!). Thank you for sharing your knowledge and for being you!

  • Patricia Hughes says:

    D’you know, I bloody love you ! I just love your positivity, drive, lust for life.. I see me in you ( only you’re much more attractive and I’d love your money, but I’m working on that) I could learn so much from you!
    Don’t stop what you’re doing, for anyone, or anything! Love being you, I love you being you!
    Take care lovely lady x

  • Gina says:

    Hi Patty,
    I have a strong opinion on this topic, regarding money and I hope that you can email me some response because I am a fan of your show and your matchmaking skills. I personally am single mother, 41 years old with a 19 year old son. I was raised in a traditional Italian family in New Jersey. Most of my life, I have had many long term relationships that were not good choices for one reason or another. I have always tried to help each of them better their lives but unfortunately, I had to save myself and son in the process. The past 8 years, I dated a gentleman, who is 42 years old, with no kids and never married. He lives with his parents, who are in a dysfunctional marriage. His father is a alcoholic. The reason why I am giving you the history, is because for most of our relationship it was on and off, we were engaged a few times, and because of money, we were unable to follow through. I am working on my Master’s Degree, working for the school district and he has a GED and works for the bank. I moved to Las Vegas a few years ago. He claimed at the time, that money was again a factor and that he could not take the leap to move when we moved. He stayed behind and to give you a catch up of today. He moved to Las Vegas to be with me, unfortunately, finances were again an issue on his behalf and he moved back to NJ. He lives room and board free of charge to pay off his 30,000 credit card debt at his parents apartment. While I applaud him for being responsible with that, he blames the finances and all the spending he did to “surprise me with a great dinner or buy me a gift” all on the credit card. We are not together today but I will add that he has been a “a Mama’s boy” in every way, and his mom and I have barely gotten along. Why I bring this to you, because it is really something like this that can tear an engagement off and how finances can tear a relationship apart.? I guess for me, I always tried to help him, get his career in order, etc and in the end, he would try and blame credit cards as a “big piece of the problem”. What is your advice on finances in this type of situation? While I know that finances were not the only factor, I question how money can play a big role in the relationship, especially when two people had two different living styles. While some to not have high expectations and others may try and reach goals. What do you think? I have been very unsuccessful with relationships with men who are not financially secure.

  • Woodbeen says:

    You are absolutely right! 🙂

  • Alex says:

    I love the message. Completely agree

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