Millionaire Dating Archives - Millionaire's Club by Patti Stanger

3 Things you’re doing that scare off millionaire men

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Millionaire men are their own species that’s a subset of normal men. When it comes to finding a woman to date, they look for most of the same criteria normal men do and then some. Bottom line is if you’re not putting in the effort the attract a normal dude, you’re never going to hook a millionaire man. But, even if you’re pulling out all the stops to attract a normal guy, you still could be falling way short on reeling in a millionaire man. In fact, you could be scaring them off. Here are three things that could be the problem.

Schlubbing it up

Millionaires are used to the best of the best. Women are no exception. Think about it. The women they see on a regular basis are either successful millionaires who have all the money in the world to look amazing, heiresses who have nothing else to do aside from coif themselves or the women who work at and frequent the fine restaurants, elite clubs and exclusive resorts they frequent. They’re not seeing frazzled moms in grocery stores or post-work out yogis running errands without makeup. They’re used to women looking their best. Men are visual creatures, so your appearance matters a lot. If you’re running around in a messy ponytail or showing up to first dates in ripped jeans, you’re scaring millionaires away. They’re programmed not to register schlubiness as sexy. So, dress up for dates with millionaires, even beyond a first date, and never schlub it up when you think your path might cross a millionaire’s.

Not keeping current

It’s hard to stereotype all millionaire men because I’ve worked with such a broad range of them. I will say that the one thing they all seem to have in common is that they are up to date on current events. Many of them read two newspapers before leaving their house in the morning. Those type of millionaires are looking for women who can keep up with them. If you’re not keeping up with current events, you’re not going to be able to. No matter how smart you actually are, no one looks intelligent when they’re clueless about the world around them. If you don’t want to scare a millionaire off, dive into the daily news and get yourself informed.

Going out in groups

Like I said, millionaire men are men. And men hate approaching a woman when she’s out in a big group of women. Millionaire men hate it even more. These guys are super busy and don’t have time to push through a firewall of friends to say hello to the one girl who caught their eye. I’m not saying they don’t want to work for a woman’s affection in general. But, they definitely don’t want to work for it before they even meet the woman. These guys are generally smart investors and dealing with a gaggle of friends for an introduction to one woman they don’t even know if they have chemistry with is not a smart investment of their time. If you want to meet a millionaire, stop going out in groups and start going out solo.

Single gals, I hope that helps you figure out why you’re not meeting any millionaire men. They’re out there and they’re dying to meet a quality girl like you. Just don’t scare them off!

3 Surprisingly hard things about dating a millionaire

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I made my name setting up wonderful women with very wealthy men and have since expanded to include female millionaires and gay and queer clients. It’s a fantastically rewarding job and I love it. Even though the relationships I set up seem like fairytales come true, the truth is that my clients have relationship struggles just as much as any couple. And I find that I hear a lot of repeated issues from the clients whom I set up with my millionaire clients. There are some really common, but really surprising, hard things about dating a millionaire. Here they are.

Being lonely

Millionaires become millionaires by working really hard. And then, on top of the work obligations, there are a lot of social obligations in elite circles. Millionaires travel often, too. A lot of my clients who get serious with millionaires complain about being lonely. This is true even when they know their millionaire partner loves and values them a lot. It’s still lonely when you’re not able to spend a lot of time with your boo. There are no two ways around that. Of course, I offer solutions and ways to reframe the situation, but you can’t deny that loneliness comes with the millionaire relationship territory.

Getting intimidated

Going on a date with a millionaire is intimidating for all of the reasons you get intimidated by a normal date. After all, they’re just normal people with abnormally large bank accounts! But, entering into their world can be more intimidating than other worlds. Millionaires spend their time doing elite things with elite people. And by definition, elite people, places and things aren’t warm and cozy to outsiders. It’s easy to get intimidated by people who are very well educated or experts in fields you know nothing about. And being uncomfortable and on edge makes it difficult to foster a relationship. I always tell my clients to talk to their partners about this and ask for help when they need it. The right partner will support you through things that make you uncomfortable, millionaire or not.

The judgment

When you date a millionaire and you’re not one, you get judged. A lot. People will talk behind your back and probably even to your face. They’ll question your motives for dating a wealthy person and won’t be polite about it. It’s going to happen, no question. What isn’t guaranteed is you two surviving this judgment storm. So, it’s up to you guys to figure out if this kind of stuff is going to make you or break you. Talk about your feelings and how to handle this kind of gossip and rudeness. Can you two help each other through this? If so, I’d bet a million dollars that you two will make it long term!

Hope this helps those of you in relationships with millionaires know you’re not alone and those considering dating a millionaire some idea of what you’ll experience. From all my time in the relationship business, I can tell you that there are ways around all couple issues as long as you two are both in it!

3 Surprisingly romantic places to go with your millionaire

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Millionaires get into ruts just like the rest of us. Sometimes they need something a little unexpected. And a weekend trip to somewhere new can totally provide that inspiration and fun to pump some excitement back into your relationship. The only problem is that with many millionaires, it’s tough to find a spot they haven’t already explored. All the normal spots probably have a “been there, done that” feel to them. So, here are some unexpected ideas to suggest to your millionaire for your next weekend getaway.

Joshua Tree

If you and your boo have not been to Joshua Tree, this is going to be such a treat. Joshua Tree is weird in the best way. It’s gorgeous and there’s really wonderful hiking for all fitness levels. Plus, the food in the area is actually spectacular. There’s great music and lots of quirky shopping to take advantage of. And the places to stay are really memorable. Nothing is all out luxury, but there is so much charm that you won’t mind not having a 24-hour-a-day butler or a red carpet welcome every time you enter your hotel. The place is something special and spending a weekend there would recharge anyone’s batteries.

Your hometown

I know this sounds strange in a list of romantic destinations, but it actually is really special to see where someone’s from. You could take your boo to all of the spots that were important to you growing up and share intimate parts of your history. It would bring you two closer together and take your relationship to a whole other level. Go on a double date with your parents, joyride past your high school, drink forties on the roof of your car and listen to the music you grew up on. It will not just be romantic, it’ll be adorable and thoughtful.

Brooklyn

Your millionaire has probably spent a lot of time in New York City. It’s where a ton of business and social obligations are when you’re a millionaire. But, I bet they’ve spent most of their time in Manhattan. Brooklyn is another borough of New York City and it’s fantastic. There are five star hotels there, great eating and fantastic off-Broadway shows. Or, maybe more like off-off-Broadway shows. But still fantastic! Take your boo to Brooklyn and spent the entire weekend exploring the museums, neighborhoods, coffee shops and waterfront. It’s so romantic and cute there. And the best part is that it’s not that touristy yet. You could live like a real Brooklyn local!

Hope this helps you cook up some ideas for a non-traditional trip to take with your millionaire. Think outside the box a bit when it comes to romantic trips and I bet you’ll be really delighted with what you find!

When to bring your new millionaire man to events

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The expression goes “April showers bring May flowers,” but as someone who lives in California and has flowers all year long and rarely has rain, that expression doesn’t quite ring true to me. What April is sure to bring, in my opinion, is lots of events. April is the start of wedding season, baby shower season, graduation season and family reunion season. Plus, it’s the lead in to Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. If you’re in a new relationship, the pressure is about to crank up in a major way. And when that new relationship is with a millionaire man, the pressure is even higher. Millionaires typically have very busy schedules and specific tastes, so it can be daunting to know when to bring your new beau to big events in your life. Here are some questions to ask yourself to help you decide when’s right for you.

Are you monogamous?

Monogamy is a big deal to me. Call me old fashioned! Monogamy is a big commitment and shows a certain level of respect and investment in your relationship. If you two are monogamous, then it’s definitely worth considering bringing your millionaire to events. If you’re not, then it’s a no go in my book. And I’m not asking if you’re sleeping with or dating people other than your millionaire. I’m asking if you two have had a talk and decided as a couple to be monogamous. Assuming he isn’t dating other people isn’t enough here.

Has he taken you to events?

Wealthy, successful men have a ton of events. Their company has events, the charities they donate to have events, the boards they sit on have events and their families have events. If your man hasn’t invited you to his events, it’s not because he hasn’t had any events. It’s because he doesn’t think your relationship is at the point where you can go public quite yet. So, this is a sign you shouldn’t invite him to yours. It could also be a sign to sit down and talk about your goals for this relationship. Make sure you’re on the same page and both guiding this relationship in the same direction.

Is this serious?

Relating to the above, ask yourself is this relationship is serious? Could you truly see a future with this fellow? Peel away the glamour of the money and dig deep to feel the emotions you have when you’re together. Do you want to feel those forever? Or at least for a good chunk of time? Don’t bother to bring anyone to a special event who seems like a “fun for now” guy, even if he is a millionaire. Your “fun forever” person could be at this event and bringing an “eh” date could prevent you from meeting him. So, only bring a man you feel very serious about.

Would he make the event better?

Some people are true value adds and some people just aren’t. Is the millionaire you’re with someone who makes things more fun or less stressful for you? If so, that’s a point in the “bring him” column. But, if he’d just be there to stand next to you in pictures or maybe even make the event more high stress for you, that’s a sign not to bring him. And, honestly, a sign to not even date him any more. You’re too awesome to be with someone like that, lady! Go find a guy who’s a value add and not just monetarily!

Happy event season, everyone! Let me know if you’re bringing your new boo with you to your events and how they go! Would love to get the scoop.

What I say to people who think money doesn’t matter

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I’m the Millionaire Matchmaker and my business started matching wealthy men with women who were interested in marrying them. Now, it’s expanded to include wealthy women looking for love, too. And I know that doesn’t rub everyone the right way because people are pretty loud about it. I hear things like, “It’s gross to be so focused on money,” “money doesn’t matter,” and “someone’s finances shouldn’t make them more or less attractive.” I hear it from TV producers, family members, potential clients and even randos when I’m out for brunch. Here’s what I say when I get these kind of comments.

Happiness is easier

Having money has a lot of benefits. Of course, there are problems that come with wealth, too. And money can’t buy happiness, that’s for certain. But, also certainly, money can make happiness easier to find. You can focus on things that make you happy a lot more if your attention isn’t divided by financial stress. Finances are a huge reason couples break up and not having to fight about money or worry about bills makes it a lot easier to feel comfortable in your life. Money isn’t the direct means to happiness, but being broke sure does make it harder to get on the right path.

Ambition and smarts

Financial success if often tied to ambition and smarts. And, of course you want to partner with someone who’s ambitious and smart. Money can be an indicator of that. Are there very wealthy people who have oodles of money for no discernable reason? Yeah, of course there are. But, I don’t really focus on that type of person in my matchmaking. And are there people out there with all of the ambition and intelligence you can fit into a human body who haven’t struck it rich? Yep. Those folks exist, too. I’m not saying money is the clear and only infallible indicator of drive and intelligence. But, it can be correlated to those things. So, looking for it isn’t a bad thing.

You’re right

When people tell me that money doesn’t matter when it comes to love, I’ll often tell them that they’re right. They’re right for themselves. But, clearly their opinion isn’t right for me and for the very happy clients I cater to. We don’t judge the criteria you use for finding your boo. Why are you spending so much time judging ours? Let us be us and be happy being you. Write your love story the way you want to and let us write ours.

The bottom line is that you shouldn’t feel ashamed if money is important to you in your search for your boo. And if it’s not, then you shouldn’t shame people who think the other way. Can we all agree on that?

Dating a Millionaire: 3 Big problems and how to solve them

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Dating a millionaire isn’t always as dreamy as it seems. I mean, it’s not torture. But, there are issues when you’re dating a man who makes a lot of money and you don’t. If you’re in this situation and are facing problems you feel like can’t overcome, you’ve found yourself in the right place. After all, a good chunk of my business is setting wealthy men up with women they wouldn’t otherwise meet. And my job doesn’t stop after a good first date set-up. I often find myself being a pseudo-couple’s counselor to many of the people I set up in successful relationships. So, here are the three most common issues I see with my couples and how I tell them to deal with it.

Working all the time – Dating a millionaire

If you’re man is a self-made millionaire, he’s going to work a lot. That’s just a fact. It’s how he made is money and round-the-clock work is probably part of who he is at his core. So, you’re not going to change his work-life balance much. But, you can help him reframe some of his priorities to shift more of his time to spend with you. First, I always recommend a weekly date. That needs to be on his calendar in ink. No ifs, ands or buts about it. And I understand the sometimes the date might be a less-than-romantic lunch for two at his desk in his office. But, as long as you two get a solid chunk of uninterrupted time together, it’s a date. Second, explain to your hard-working man that a good relationship takes a lot of work, too. If you can get him to think about your relationship like he does a business venture—in the sense that it needs his time, attention, creative thinking and passion—then he’ll be more likely to meet your expectations and needs. Reframe what you’re asking of him in terms he understands. Basically, he needs to invest in your relationship if he wants any returns!

Friend meshing – Dating a millionaire

Dating a man who’s out of your financial bracket, and often out of your age bracket, can be tough when it comes to social time. You may find his friends stuffy and he may find your friends immature. My advice here is to take small steps. Don’t bring your older wealthy boyfriend out to a girls’ night of dive bar drinking. Maybe invite one or two friends over to dinner at your place instead. That way, it’s an environment both your man and your friends are familiar with. And doing a few friends at a time will be less overwhelming. When it comes to his friends, you might want to take the reigns planning there, too. Instead of a boring dinner, do an activity together, like a whiskey tasting, for example. That will give you all something to do and talk about. Plus, it will be a shared experience for you to reminisce about later. Also, understand that while both of your sets of friends should be supportive of your relationship, you guys don’t have to fall in love with each other’s friends. So, manage your expectations there, too.

Treating him is tough – Dating a millionaire

Making your man feel as valued as he makes you feel can be a challenge because he has the advantage of money. It might be hard for you to buy him a good gift or take him to do his favorite things, because those things are just out of your fiscal grasp. Here’s where you need to realize that gifts aren’t about cost, they’re about thought and effort. So, you’re going to have to get creative when it comes to gift giving. Maybe he mentioned that he really misses his grandmother’s apple pie. You might try making him an apple pie. Or, personalizing a gift can be more meaningful than getting the most expensive designer version of that gift. For example, he may be used to $3,000 cufflinks. But, if you go to Etsy and get a pair made from the menu of the place you both had your first date for a few bucks, he’ll love that pair far more than any pricey pair he has.

Know that these struggles are common and also very fixable. Focus on the love you share and creative solutions rather than dwelling on the problems and I know you two will make it through!